I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
We got so high we made milksteak
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize