i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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