sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
