One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
