He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
