If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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