do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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