Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
