Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I need to stop coming to work sober
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
