If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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