my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
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