piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
you had me at cake vodka
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
