Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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