Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
