i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
