you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Bang-toberfest begins!!
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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