I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
