just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
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I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
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I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize