dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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