Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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