i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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