We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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