I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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