forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
My dick has a subreddit
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
