I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
