im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
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