Soap is not a condiment
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
