so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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