I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
My liver just had a heart attack.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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