I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
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just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize