i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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