dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
