turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Just took my morning after pill in the library
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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