yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.