You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize