in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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