we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize