Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Dicks are not precious.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
