hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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