So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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