so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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