Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
