he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
