PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
