i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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