I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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