wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
