You made me cry and you don't even care
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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