I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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