Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
