How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm sobbing to NWA
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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