Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
