Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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