im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
