You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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