He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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