If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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