I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
