woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
