i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
