She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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