This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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