I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize