I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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