margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
