we're blogging at a bar
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
