She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
